I don't know anyone who likes weaving in ends, whether it's on a piece that has been knitted, crocheted, hand stitched, hand sewn, or for that matter, in their lives. I have come to think that weaving in ends and our general displeasure with it, is a metaphor for something bigger. Sometimes, getting to the end of something is great, like when you finish your last final exam, or take the last pill of a prescription because you have recovered, but often, ends, are unpleasant.
This all comes to mind because of something rather frivolous. The YarnCraft podcast ended. I know, it's just a podcast. I listened to that podcast from its first episode. I didn't love them all, but I always listened. Liz and Zontee were the initial hosts and when Liz left to have Teddy, her adorable baby boy, Michelle, took her place. Even that, was a bit jarring because Liz and Michelle's styles were different. Be that as it may, the podcast carried on, generally, the same. Although a podcast is a one-way medium, in the case of YarnCraft, there were plenty of opportunities to cyber interact. Something I posted to the blog was once mentioned on the show, which was cool. When I heard the heads up that the podcast was going to end, and then listened to the last show, I was deflated. It felt like a lost friendship.
I can well understand the reasons for the termination. I did over 100 episodes of my weekly and then twice-weekly Guitar Technique Tutor podcast. It was a lot of work to organize the information, record, edit, syndicate, produce show notes, get them up on the web site (which now reside on the Guitar Technique Tutor blog) and then, do it all again the next week (or every other week.) I simply burned out. I loved it. I made a lot of contacts, local and international. But when my life became more complicated, the burden was just too much to face, and I had to re-order my priorities. I now blog the guitar end of my life, rather than podcasting. I recall being touched by so many people emailing to say they were going to miss it. But it was something I had to do.
I'm going to miss YarnCraft's podcast.
As I have been mulling all this over, I realize ends aren't something I like. I don't like when favorite TV shows end their seasons and I really don't like when a great show ends. Most recently, I think of The Closer's unwelcome end after its fabulous 7th season. Sometimes, I wish a book that I'm enjoying would never end. I don't like closing chapters of life. Putting away childish things and becoming an adult was an adventure, but surely there was a kind of loss. The ends of friendships, and relationships, even if I have initiated them, have always been painful with accompanying frustration and misplaced feelings of guilt. Then, the heavies are the ends, and here I mean the deaths, of loved ones or pets that have become members of the family.
All these ends are there, and in our lives (or at least mine) and we need to deal with them. We can thoughtfully weave them in neatly, we can just tie a knot and move on, or we can, ill-advisedly, make a mess of something that should conclude an era, event or activity with some semblance of grace.
For me, the hardest part is weaving in ends.